Forage Party Manifesto

Today, the Forage Party launched its election manifesto in front of a packet of crisps in the garden shed. Urging the electorate to “Vote Forage”, appropriately enough, its charismatic leader outlined ten broad principals enshrined in the manifesto that would guarantee at least 5 seats in the House of Commons, or failing that, a couple of natty wickerwork chairs in the conservatory (not to be confused with conservative). The “10 Principles” as they are bound to become famously known, are as follows:

• More allotments

• Even more allotments.

• Free landrovers for allotment owners.

• Guaranteed access to blackberry bushes during the months of August and September.

……..I’m sure there was more, but the party leader had to leave as the campaign “Battle Bus”, as it has become known, had arrived, and he/she had to rush off to another “press conference” in another “garden shed”.

Well, I certainly think that the Forage Party is bound to give the TUV a run for their money, and Jim Allister better watch his back !!!!!!!!!